HILARIOUS JOKES AND HUMOR ARCHIVES


Have you heard about the atheist who was taking a walk through a forest, admiring all that the accident of evolution had created?

"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he continued to walk alongside the river he began to hear a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to look he momentarily froze out of sheer terror: a 7-foot grizzly was charging toward him!

He began to run as fast as he could away from the bear, but every time he looked over his shoulder he noticed the bear was running faster and getting closer, which caused him to put all his strength together to run even faster. He was so scared that tears were coming to his eyes.

But when he looked over his shoulder again the bear was even closer. With a heart that was pumping frantically, he tried to run still even faster. Then the worse thing possible happened... he tripped over a stump and fell to the ground!

Quickly, he rolled over to pick himself up just in time to see the bear, almost right on top of him! The bear was reaching for him with its left paw while raising its right paw to strike!

At that instant the atheist cried out "God, HELP ME!...."

Time instantly froze. The bear became imobile. The forest was completely without motion and noise-even the river had stopped moving.

All of a sudden the atheist heard a powerful, authoritative voice speak out...

"You have denied my existence for many years. You have taught others I don't exist, and even credited my creation to a cosmic accident. Why now do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?

The atheist was startled, but finally collected his wits, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to show mercy on me now, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?"

All of a sudden the noise of the forest resumed, the river was running again, and the bear was no longer immobile!

In fact, the bear was dropping its right paw! It brought both paws together, bowed its head, and to the consternation of the atheist, began to speak!

"Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful..." **********************************************************

Do you believe in God?

"But since you rejected me when I called and no one gave heed when I stretched out my hand, since you ignored all my advice and would not accept my rebuke, I in turn will laugh at your disaster; I will mock when calamity overtakes you-when calamity overtakes you like a storm, when disaster sweeps over you like a whirlwind, when distress and trouble overwhelm you.

Then they will call to me but I will not answer; they will look for me but will not find me. Since they hated knowledge and did not choose to fear the Lord... they will eat the fruit of their ways and be filled with the fruit of their schemes.

For the waywardness of the simple will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them; but whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm." -Proverbs 1:24


Previous Joke | Back to the Archives | Next Joke

Subscribe here to receive Clean Joke of the Day
every day except Sunday!
First Name:

Last Name:

Email:




Clean Joke of the Day | 200 West Laurel Lane | Big Sandy, TX 75755
**********************************************************
© 2003 Clean Joke of the Day