HILARIOUS JOKES AND HUMOR ARCHIVES
It was Palm Sunday, but five-year-old Johnny had to stay
home from church because he was sick.
When the family returned home carrying palm branches, he
asked what they were for.
His mother explained, "People held them over Jesus' head as
he walked by."
"Wouldn't you know it," Johnny said, "The one Sunday I
don't go, Jesus shows up!"
Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour
wherein the Son of man cometh. For the kingdom of heaven is
as a man traveling into a far country, who called his own
servants, and delivered unto them his goods.
And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to
another one; to every man according to his several ability;
and straightway took his journey. Then he that had received
the five talents went and traded with the same, and made
them other five talents.
And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other
two. But he that had received one went and digged in the
earth, and hid his lord's money. After a long time the lord
of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them.
And so he that had received five talents came and brought
other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me
five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents
more. His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and
faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things,
I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the
joy of thy lord.
He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord,
thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained
two other talents beside them. His lord said unto him, Well
done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful
over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things:
enter thou into the joy of thy lord.
Then he which had received the one talent came and said,
Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where
thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not
strawed: And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in
the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine.
His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and
slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed
not, and gather where I have not strawed: Thou oughtest
therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then
at my coming I should have received mine own with usury.
Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him
which hath ten talents. For unto every one that hath shall
be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that
hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath.
And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness:
there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. -Matthew 25:13
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