HILARIOUS JOKES AND HUMOR ARCHIVES
An elderly woman called the hospital to inquire about the
health of a patient.
"Hospital Operator? Hello, Darling. I'd like to talk
with the person who gives the information about the patients.
But I don't want to know if the patient is better or doing
like expected, or worse. I want all the information from top
to bottom, from A to Z."
The voice on the other line said, "Would you hold the line
please, that's a very unusual request." Then a very
authoritative voice came on and said, "Are you the lady who
is calling about one of the patients?"
She said, "Yes, darling! I'd like to know the information
about Sarah Finkel in Room 302."
He said, "Finkel. Finkel. Let me see. Farber, Feinberg...
Finkel. Oh yes, Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact,
she's had two full meals, and her doctor says if she
continues improving as she is he is going to send her home
today at twelve o'clock."
The woman said, "Thank God! That's wonderful! She's going
home at twelve o'clock! I'm so happy to hear that. That's
"From your enthusiasm," the man on the other end said, "I
take it you must be a close family member."
She said, "What close family? I'm Sarah Finkel! My doctor
doesn't tell me anything."
Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless
his holy name. Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all
his benefits: who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who
healeth all thy diseases; who redeemeth thy life from
destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and
tender mercies; who satisfieth thy mouth with good things;
so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's.
The LORD executeth righteousness and judgment for all that
are oppressed. He made known his ways unto Moses, his acts
unto the children of Israel. The LORD is merciful and
gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.
He will not always chide: neither will he keep his anger for
ever. He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded
us according to our iniquities. For as the heaven is high
above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear
As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed
our transgressions from us. Like as a father pitieth his
children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him. For he
knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.
As for man, his days are as grass: as a flower of the field,
so he flourisheth. For the wind passeth over it, and it is
gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more. But the
mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon
them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children's
children; to such as keep his covenant, and to those that
remember his commandments to do them. -Psalms 103:1Previous Joke | Back to the Archives | Next Joke
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